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10 Tips for Solving Relationship Conflicts

Anytime you try your best to learn how to deal with a conflict avoidant spouse, understand that there are solutions. If you’re the one who’s struggled with conflict avoidance, all the same applies! Have some compassion, patience and empathy for yourself and this learned behavior and remind yourself that you’re taking new actions, which will become new habits over time. No matter the start to life, as adults conflict avoiders end up feeling that sharing their opinions, thoughts and feelings is scary and not worth it. Many people dislike conflict, but in some cases, conflict avoidance can harm your relationships and health.

  • They learn that they can’t trust what you say and this leaks into other areas of the relationship.
  • Google’s massive two-year research study of high-performing teams identified “psychological safety” as the key factor to group success.
  • Using the ‘I’ statement avoids accusing or blaming a person but expresses how their feelings affect you.

While a better understanding of the root of their behavior doesn’t erase your frustration, it can help you with techniques to deal with difficult people. We look at common reasons for difficult behavior, how you can remain calm and composed in the midst of a challenging situation, and how you can deal with conflicts in the workplace and with family. Assertive communication is an essential skill for conflict resolution, as it enables you to express your needs in a respectful manner while also collaboratively resolving your disagreement with your partner. Assertiveness helps build trust and rapport with your partner, empowering your partner while enhancing your self-esteem and confidence. In addition, assertive communication minimizes stress, while ensuring your rights and boundaries are respected.

Conflict avoiders withdraw from the relationship.

You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way. Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without offending someone. However, it’s important that you laugh with the other person, not at them.

  • As a business leader, you’ll likely clash with other managers and need to help your team work through disputes.
  • For instance, imagine you’re on a public bus and the passenger next to you is loudly playing music.
  • Instead of yelling at your partner that they don’t love you any more or that they are a bad person for not spending more time with you, focus on how you are feeling.
  • Take the assessment and get matched with a professional, licensed therapist.

Take notes, try to summarize what your partner is saying, try to validate what your partner is saying. When people are coordinating with one another, even when they disagree, they give all these signals that they’re really interested in what they are saying. Tell me more about that.” I carry a notebook in my back pocket. When Julie has something she wants to talk about, I take it out and write what she’s saying, which down-regulates my own defensiveness. 9 Finkel, E. J., Slotter, E. B., Luchies, L. B., Walton, G. M., & Gross, J. J. A brief intervention to promote conflict reappraisal preserves marital quality over time.


When you know what causes a person to become difficult and on edge, you can figure out what steps you need to take to deal with their behavior. Author Natasha Bowman, JD, SPHR, noticed that her behavior changed as she dealt with the responses of family members and friends to her bipolar diagnosis. Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

how to deal with someone who avoids conflict

He believes that the best way to address conflict avoidance is by creating a culture where employees feel valued and listened to. “The negative side effects of conflict avoidance are often high turnover, a dysfunctional working environment, strained communication, loss of productivity and impaired teamwork,” Hearn said. Putting firm boundaries in place is also a good way to handle difficult relationships with friends and in social settings. Make your limits clear and communicate what behavior you will and will not tolerate. Be willing to leave a gathering if necessary to preserve your peace of mind.

How do you respond to conflict?

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours. To identify the source of the conflict, you have to pay attention and listen how to deal with someone who avoids conflict carefully. To listen actively, make sure you understand your partner and paraphrase the other party’s points. Some form of conflict is a normal part of our personal and professional lives. Leaving conflicts unresolved leads to pent-up frustration and a greater sense of loneliness that can build up over time.

  • Ghosting, for example—ending a relationship by disappearing—has become common.
  • If someone disagrees with you, simply acquiescing can snuff out opportunities for innovation and creative problem-solving.
  • There’s no way to completely eliminate fights with your partner, and you don’t have to avoid conflict to have a strong and healthy relationship.
  • If you find yourself becoming emotional, remind yourself to “detach” or “disengage” and communicate in a factual manner.
  • The updated list of these parties may be requested from the Owner at any time.
  • When people are coordinating with one another, even when they disagree, they give all these signals that they’re really interested in what they are saying.

All articles are written in conjunction with the Makin Wellness research team. The content on this page is not a replacement for professional diagnosis, treatment, or informed advice. It is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before making any decisions or taking action. does not support “Do Not Track” requests.To determine whether any of the third-party services it uses honor the “Do Not Track” requests, please read their privacy policies.

How do you manage employee conflict in the workplace?

Our leadership development resources offer a variety of tools to support you in your journey. As a project manager for a marketing firm, you have a concept for overhauling how your company prices projects by saving quite a lot on media expenses. Plus, there would be an initial training period to facilitate the changeover. After enrolling in a program, you may request a withdrawal with refund (minus a $100 nonrefundable enrollment fee) up until 24 hours after the start of your program. Please review the Program Policies page for more details on refunds and deferrals. Our easy online application is free, and no special documentation is required.